Psychopaths in the workplace

I'm fortunate that it's been years since I've had to put up with a psychopath - plenty of normal humans with flaws such as misogyny, homophobia, transphobia, and "that's the way it is done by everyone" thinking, but I actually have the best direct manager I've ever had at the moment (he's now drawn ahead of the other outstanding manager, who gave me a 30% pay rise).

Nevertheless, there are plenty of other workplaces where people are doubtlessly undergoing what I went through many years ago, and that's what I want to cover - for the sake of the victims, the businesses or organisations, and the psychopaths themselves.

I think the most common sign of a psychopath is the "non-apology" - for instance, claiming to be sorry for the upset feelings of the victim, but not actually taking responsibility for, or even admitting, wrongdoing.

The best way of handling that, especially if the wrongdoer just says "sorry", is an approach my partner uses: ask them what exactly are they sorry for? If they can talk genuinely and contritely about the issues, they may well be genuine - although actions speak louder than words.

As an example of the latter, I've worked with a few people who've made an obvious point of using the correct (female) pronouns with me, but it has been so obvious and forced that I've actually wound up doubting their action on the basis that (a) they seemed forced, and (b) what situation led to them think that such behaviour was necessary - is there misgendering behind my back, or do they have problems accepting TGD people?

And they probably thought they were being good at people-based management.

There are other examples around at the moment - our neoliberal Prime Minister, Morrison, is one.

His ineptness with people led me, at one stage, to wonder if he was in some way autistic, but all the autistic people I know (including some nephews and a niece) are far better at interactions than he is. I am reminded of the assessments of the defendants at various World War Two related trials of genocidaires as lacking in empathy. Morrison hasn't committed direct mass murders as those others had, but his focus on numbers and political power has caused harm to our physical world and Australian society that I fear is irreparable.

He has yet to issue any credible apology that I've come across - he's issued a non-apology (sorry others were offended, but not sorry for having done the wrong thing) for being out of the nation while the 2019/20 climate bushfires were underway, but that obviously doesn't count. (In my state, the Wrongs Act specifically removes legal fallout from an apology, so anyone who claims that they can't apologise for legal reasons is either uninformed, stupid, or a psychopath.) 

So, going back to the workplace, the non-apology is a strong indication you might be working for a psychopath.

There are other indicators, but those are behaviours indicated by managers who are NOT psychopaths but are simply inept - behaviours such as unreasonable requests for overtime, lack of empathy when family members are ill, failing to see the problems with misogyny or other bigotry, etc (and to be clear, my manager does NOT have any of those problems - it's a shame he's unlikely to ever read this :) ).

(I have a few articles planned on stupid assumptions - and bigotry - experienced in our medical system and elsewhere: those are about dangerous and deeply harmful flaws, including arrogance and self-serving denials, but not psychopaths.)

The responses to such unacceptable behaviour are, largely, the same for psychopaths and normal flawed human beings:

• learn how to be assertive, and be assertive; 
• practice beforehand explaining the reasons (including human rights and legal - research as needed) and needs that more flexibility or reasonable adaptations for your genuine needs will help the company (e.g., if I'm worried about family member's health, I cannot be fully focused on work [if they say "I don't see why", I would probably respond along the lines "I don't see how you could be lacking in such a basic understanding of people - how is that?" - you're probably dealing with a psychopath, and their pride is more likely to be the way to get to them than normal appeals to human empathy]); 
• try to appear calm. One of the biggest flaws in our patriarchal world is discomfort with emotions - I've even had one misogynist abuse me for being upset the first time my partner was diagnosed with cancer. Our court systems are also deeply flawed by the presumption that those who are upset or put off balance in a court are likely to be guilty - no acknowledgment there of the intimidatory nature of the legal process, power dynamics, or bullying - or even the simple human cost of having to disclose what one has been through (there bigots and power addicts in some pockets of our system who make this particularly worse). The point is, this patriarchally biased world will WRONGLY dismiss or downplay you if you dare show your humanity by being emotional.
  Furthermore, if you're dealing with a psychopath, they will not understand, let alone be moved by, any emotions.
  Psychopaths have to be fought, in the same way that the evils of naziism had to be fought, but when you're face-to-face with them, emotions are meaningless because they don't understand them - it's not that they don't have emotions, they crucially lack the important human ones like empathy. They are, however, likely to have pride, and that is their weakness - you just have to know what it is that they're proud about;
• gain an understanding of your rights - get advice from your union if you need (although I'm found them particularly flawed on some topics - mainly LGBTIQ matters, but also the effects of being groped [aka "searched'] on women); and
• keep written records in a safe place - as accurate and precise as you can: time, date, specific words, etc.

The other key issue here is to remember that you're not alone. Workplaces these days are founded on keeping workers divided, because they're more easily subjugated that way.

Stupidly, some people - wrongly - think they have the capacity to negotiate for more money for themself that way - and screw anyone else who loses out as a result.

However, if you can find others who share your concerns, it is worth providing a little mutual support. Unfortunately, in a workplace run by a psychopath, that's likely to be a bit like being a secret agent behind enemy lines. That means it is your friends outside of the workplace who will be crucial in maintaining your sanity and balance - and to do so, those friends MUST be non-judgemental. If they come out with crap about "why aren't you leaving" (particularly given our current under and unemployment problems), move on to others who are genuinely supportive - who are genuine friends.

Psychopaths can be outlasted - I know from personal experience. The thing is, their impacts on workplaces are inevitably harmful, and companies will - generally, not always - eventually get rid of the psychopaths and try people who are more likely to be stewards of the people who are the company's best resource.

But for you to be able to get the benefit of that, you have to get to end of the reign of abuse in reasonable mental and emotional health and wellbeing.

Psychopaths can be overcome, or, if not that, often outlasted.

In any case, their evil needs to be purged from the world, but that is task for outside the workplace.