Cross posting: Post No. 1,718 - A speculation

This was originally published on my main blog at https://gnwmythr.blogspot.com/2020/12/post-no-1718-speculation.html.

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A long time ago, nearly two decades now, I was offered an insane amount of money: my salary, recently increased 30% by a manager who reversed decades of discrimination, would have been more than tripled - up into six figures. I didn't take it because the job would have involved relocating to Sydney, which I didn't like, and my partner at the time refused to do, so with running two households, one in expensive Sydney, travelling back and forth, and a long distance relationship, it wasn't worth our while - no matter how much money was offered. 

Whenever money has been tight since then, I've occasionally briefly regretted that, before I think of the reasons I chose "no", but I've also speculated, from time to time, what it would have been like to work in a job doing what I have recently realised - because I no longer have it - I love to do: building a team, which involves both building team members and building their interactions. 

I used to love the technical aspects of my job - and I still love the public service aspects, but staying up to date with a series of family illnesses, deaths and personal issues (including ending one relationship and starting another, and personal ill health plus just physically ageing) has become pretty much impossible (and reflects the biases of pale, stale, male profession "elders"), and I have been doing some deep reflection on "why am I here?" 

I can't retire, and despite the comment of blue collar workers (basically angry bigots) who are saying "only an office worker would think someone could work till 70", I am a white collar worker who has been exhausted by my job, and I - just as much as any blue collar worker - cannot work to 70, let alone beyond. 

So . . . what now? 

Anyone want a team builder? ☺ 

PS - also, I have just found this.